Lego Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Set, $61.80

Congratulations, Mortal.

A revelation at just $61.80, you've just purchased a front-row seat to the unraveling of existence itself. Contained within this ominously cheerful toy box lies the unholy plastic heralds of oblivion—War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death—each forged in the cold, soulless embrace of interlocking ABS plastic.

Contemplate the Void:

•Before assembly, sit quietly. Consider the futility of ambition, the fragility of the human condition, and your place in the meaningless churn of time. Then break the seal on white bag A.

Assemble:

•Pestilence (white bag A), War (red bag B), Famine (black bag C), and Death (pale bag D). Assemble in that order, do not assemble out of order. Say "Come!" when opening each bag.

Apocalypse Mode:

•Once completed, align all Horsemen in formation. Whisper your last words. Lightly tap the included "Trumpet of Ruin" and watch the unraveling of space-time.