Bitter what if

What if you actually want to talk with me again? I would be mad from the pain you caused me but i want you back. I don't know why, you made me cry so many nights, mad so much time,and wonder in this bitter life. What if you know this, know the pain you caused me, all those left on read, ruining everything when i was sleeping in my bed, maybe you know. What if i never met you and never felt the pain you caused me, i wouldn't have anyone by my side, no one to understand my stride, only me, myself, and i. What if i forgot about you, maybe the pain will be gone, but the good memories would be lost. Bitter what if full my mind, seems you were a part of my life, yet i don't want to care about you. Still i have you in the deepest part of my heart, tho i know it's a what if.