Last time

My throat is sick again, right back on the meds. As i checked my phone, of course there's news about me. My vent outcome led to me wanting me dead. Or i guess I'm wrong about its all, then i make myself fall. Thanks to my crazy head, wish i stay in bed. No matter how many times i rip my heart for y'all, no one knows the truth. Always to scare to speak the reason since its could be treason. I try to say what you want to hear, just people still hurt me with my sensitive tears. I still see the faces of those are gone, living in worried you wish i was next. Last time, this all happened, probably gonna happen again next time. Yet I'm still alive but dead inside, i want to stopped. But this time it's going to happen again and again.