Fairbairn showed a look of sympathy on her face. “Oh my!”

“I had been corrupted by the NID, but this was the last straw. I turned myself in at the earliest possible moment because I wanted out. Even though I paid my debt to society and my sins were forgiven when I was baptized, I have lived with the guilt of Patrick’s death ever since.” 

“And that’s why you became a Carmelite?”

“Carmel provided me with a place for atonement where I could withdraw from the world. But even the past kept haunting me in the monastery. What’s worse, I couldn’t tell anyone about it.”

“Helena, what you did in the past is in the past. That doesn’t define you any longer. You’re Helena of the Cross, a member of SG-24, our cultural advisor and a damned good one at that.” Fairbairn paused. “Helena, have you been struggling with self-forgiveness?"


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Chapter 37: The Weight of Mercy, Part 7

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