THE MAYO NEW YORK

“Scoop the gloop!”

DISCLAIMER: For optimum performance and safety, read the following carefully.

Discontinue use of this condiment if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, ringing in your ears, ringing in your friends ears, memory loss, tingling in your extremities, tingling in your friends extremities, licking random objects/people, aural or visual hallucinations, long fingers, heart palpitations, no heartbeat, no head, loss of life, slurrrrrrrrrred speech, fixated on what the hell rhymes with “Orange”, memory loss, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, inappropriate laughter or jizurrp, please seek immediate medical attention.

Keep your hands in the jar at all times and remain seated until the Mayo has come to a complete stop. Any resemblance to actual Mayo, living or dead, past, present or future, is purely coincidental.

Use only as directed. Not for internal use. Batteries not included. Not a toy. May contain traces of Mayo. Do not eat.