Abducted, then probed, and finally, involved in a scuffle onboard an alien ship, and then tossed out from 15 feet up, AND, no souvenir coffee mug that says, "I got abducted and all I got was this lousy mug!".
He did manage to get some alien fur, a radar hat, and a sh!tload of Cuban cigars (unseen), so, not a bad haul for what amounted to several days of probing without a skosh of lubricant!