Hagrid: Yer a wizard, Harry.
Simpotter: Duh, I know.
Hagrid: ... Wot?
Simpotter: Don't have a cow, m8!
Also, I somehow think that Malfoy would be named Draco Duffoy in this crossover. I can already imagine them going, "Sim-POTTAH". Ten points to your Hogwarts, house, Mormookiee!