Miss Steak 🥩 pageant.

"On the grand stage of the 'Miss Glamburger Universe' pageant, one contestant turns every head—and not just because she's confident. It's Miss Steak, a literal walking, talking prime cut of beef with legs for days and a T-bone attitude. Her ‘skin’ is marbled with perfection, glistening with garlic butter, and her gown is a delicate drizzle of chimichurri and rhinestones. With long lashes made of chives and ruby red lips shaped like ketchup dollops, she owns the catwalk. The judges gasp: was this a mistake? Or is it fate? Her sash reads ‘Miss Steak’ in glittering bacon font, and her talent portion involves flamenco dancing while sizzling gently on a cast iron pan. Beauty, grace, and Grade-A protein. Ultra-detailed, surreal humour, fashion pageant setting, glammed-up absurdity. (—saucy, sizzling curves, barely basted.)"