Well slap a beret on a baguette and call it Wednesday—this fella just played the entire neighborhood’s secrets in a minor key. They say every note he plays is a confession from someone on that block. That wistful tune? That’s about Denise’s scandalous taxidermy side hustle. Congrats, sugarplum! You’ve won the “Croon of Truth” Award and a year’s supply of mysterious glances from passersby.
/Doris, your neighbor, with an ear for music and a nose for mischief