Be it known to all, this 26th day of March in the year of our Lord 1824, that the notorious scoundrel Peter Pan, also known as "The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up," has been apprehended once again after a most audacious and fantastical escape from His Majesty's Gaol.
The aforementioned miscreant was initially confined to the gaol on charges of perpetual youthfulness, excessive merriment, and leading a band of similarly aged rapscallions known as the "Lost Boys." It is reported that Pan did orchestrate his escape with the aid of one Tinkerbell, a sprite of small stature but considerable cunning, known for her association with the fairy folk and her ability to bestow the art of flight upon mortals.