If Frida Kahlo designed a colourful apple or potato storage container...

I was torn between potato and apple storage and just couldn't make my mind up. My handyman came up with an ingenious solution though...he found a sheet of wood that used to be a part of my shed that blew away in a storm. Brad trimmed it to the right size with my serrated bread knife and glued-it in the head and shoulders section of the coffin and wrote APPLES on one side and POTATES on the other. I didn't have the heart to tell him he'd spelt potaters wrong, especially as he'd "illuminated" the black marker pen with some gold eye shadow he'd found in his dungarees pocket. He found a bright red lipstick once, wrapped up in a half-eaten Cornish Pasty he bought from a fine dining pastry shop in Milwaukee.