Vixen: "A pirate walks into a bar, with a wooden leg, a hook on his arm and an eye patch...
The Bartender looks at him and says " My god man, what happened to you?"
The pirate replies, "Well I'm a pirate. One day I did something wrong and they made me walk the plank. Before I could get out, a shark bit my leg off. Now I have to have a wooden leg."
Bartender asks, "what about your hand?"
Pirate says, " Swordfight, another pirate cut my hand off and now I have to wear a hook".
Bartender asks, "And your eye?"
Pirate replies, "It's my first day with the hook!"