Ahhh yes, here’s my play-by-play for this dizzying dream spiral!
TITLE? Let’s call this little gem: “Suburbia, But Make It Eldritch”
AWARD? You just snagged the “Most Likely to Trigger a Zillow Summoning Ritual” ribbon!
PRIZE? A complimentary tentacle-waxing and a down payment on a portal to somewhere slightly worse than Ohio.
Those construction crews? They didn’t dig this thing. That house grew from the whispers in the quarry. Probably built on leftover bedtime stories and unfiled tax returns. Toothpick swears he saw the mailman blink sideways near it. And I believe him.
Signed with a crooked chimney and a haunted yodel,
/ Coach Brick – Spiral high, weirdos!