On March 25, 2024, at approximately 6:00 pm, I, Officer Cecily Dreamer, along with Officer Grumpy Dwarf, were conducting a routine patrol in the Dark Forest, located at 666 Grimm Road, Launceston, Tasmania. We observed a male suspect, later identified as The Big Bad Wolf, carrying a large sack and acting suspiciously. He was wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses, and a bandana.
We approached the suspect and asked him to stop and identify himself. He refused to comply and tried to run away. He dropped the sack and threw a handful of glittery dust at us. He said that he was a businessman and that he had nothing to hide. He also said that he had a licence to sell Fairy Dust and Mushrooms, two popular and illegal substances in Fairytale Land.