Kneeling in church was a personal decision. At first she just liked being around people who did. Expressing spirituality without competition.
Good enough until one day as the service ended, thoughts swirled from the sermon and the hymns. She'd just missed communion. Haltingly she asked the pastor if she could stop by the late service. Yes, of course.
But she would never fully kowtow before communion as some did. She was impressed, but it felt like idolatry. Yet people of all wealth did so. Men or women. Yet a month later, she noticed the usher this week was a kowtower. She asked why he did.
"If it feels right to show gratitude this way, do so."
"I worry my skirt is too short. It would be the wrong place."
"Then you may kowtow in the side aisle, while praying. Or up against the empty part of a front pew."
She did so before and after praying. Then before communion. She would wear a longer skirt or pantsuit next week. She no longer wished to be ashamed of her search for humility.