She Layin' Strange Eggs

I checked this morning. The eggs are half egg and half metal, can you believe it?

I told Dottie "We should choke the chick and eat some fried chicken, ma." And she goes: "No, pa, she's family." Family, a chicken?

So we planted all these things to let her live, like it was a darn human war veteran... and now this is the result! No eggs you can eat, cuz they're half metal! Only kewl thing know what it is? They cook themselves. No need to fry-pan them, nossir. Mostly scrambled and hardboiled, but then again you can't eat them, so what the f...

(Goes away muttering. Voice fading.)

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