The year was 785BC, the BC means, Before Cats.
Ancient Athens was in absolute pandaemonium, though their philosophy was groundbreaking and hoplite soldiers were an elite fighting force, the birthplace of democracy was under assault, from mice.
Mice were running rampant, climbing ladies togas and making them scream, climbing mens togas and making them scream like girls.
Mice were going into the great libraries and chewing on scrolls of wisdom. They were running around and distracting the well oiled men from their deep thoughts.
They needed a warlock with tiger blood and the dna of Adonis. They needed Charlie Sheen.
Sheen traveled back through time between tapings of his hit television show, Two and a Half Men, when he received the ancient message in a bottle.
Sheen thought long and hard with his genius brains about what to do and decided he would create the perfect domestic predator, cats.
Sheen saved Ancient Athens and then went on to become a terrible stand up comedian.