He still loved his three-piece suits, but he'd slowly given away the ones that didn't get worn. Charity, sure, but guilt: they'd made way for bold skirt suits! For a while he enjoyed mixing male and femme evenly. But the longer he wasn't shamed, the more his femme side took over.
Chat at a queer bar was enough. No strings attached. But he didn't say what he wanted unless "overdressed." Guilt noting his male side en femme, or vice versa. It felt greedy, trying to be two things. He'd heard but still didn't buy "you don't have to box yourself in." Was he interesting enough to allow both? He worried showing someone his wardrobe, built from years of shrewd bargain hunting and cutting wasteful spending, was bragging.
Fortunately all this eventually took a back seat to "it'd be silly not to wear what I bought." He still needed time to warm up socially when dressed but was more at ease than 5 years ago. Still, discussing that confusion led to solidarity.