Slimy plastic politician

I'll say anything you want to hear as long as you elect me. I'll make promises I have absolutely no intention at all of keeping. I'll promise to fix things that I haven't fixed in decades of political service. I'll sell you out the first chance I get. I'll promise you the moon and then give you green moldy cheese while stealing everything you own including your freedom. I'll start wars you don't want any part of. I will destroy the economy so you'll have nothing and be miserable, but you will have the satisfaction of knowing you voted for me.